I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
