why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
