I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
