Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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