What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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