How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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