I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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