party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
