went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
