Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
