She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
