Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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