Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I believe in your delicious
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
