Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
