Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
