I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
