He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
