That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
