There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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