i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
