when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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