She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
