I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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