Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
