Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
