Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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