When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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