it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
