Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
