i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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