you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
