she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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