we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
