I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
