worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
