it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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