Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
