Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
