I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
