end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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