arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
