I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I want is dick and wine.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
