Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
