HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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