I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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