This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sext me about skeletons
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
