What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Barsexuality is the new black.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
