we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
