can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize