Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She said her name was "party"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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