Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
